Blogtober: Busting Bisexual Myths

Hello again everyone, and welcome back to week 2 of my Blogtober challenge. If you missed any of the posts that have gone up so far, you can catch up on the links down below:

1: Welcome to Blogtober 2: Types of Blog 3: Blog Names 4: Reasons I Blog 5: Planning Blogposts 6: My Favourite Posts 7: Writer’s Block 8: My One Blogging Tip 9: Coming Out to Yourself 10: Coming Out to the World

11: Pride

Having come out as bisexual earlier in the year, I couldn’t do LGBT week without going into the topic in some way.

What I have noticed is that there are a lot of stereotypes about certain LGBT identities, in particular bisexuality. Today, I wanted to address these stereotypes and discuss what I think about them.

“Bisexuals are more likely to cheat.”

Being attracted to multiple genders DOES NOT affect how committed you are when in a relationship.

Bisexual people are IN NO WAY more likely to cheat on their partners than heterosexual or homosexual people.

To anyone in a relationship with a bi person, trust your partner. Don’t question their commitment to you simply based on the fact that they identify as bisexual.

“Bisexuals are slutty.” “Bisexuals all like threesomes.”

There seems to be this idea that because we bi people are attracted to multiple genders, this makes us in some way promiscuous or “slutty” and that not only do we sleep around, but we are always engaging in sexual activity with multiple people at once.

From personal experience, this is NOT TRUE.

Although some bisexuals do sleep around, and many do enjoy threesomes, they are no more likely than a hetero- or homo-identifying person to do so.

“Bisexuals are just greedy.”

Usually one of the first things a bi person hears after coming out is that they’re “greedy”.

I have never quite been able to grasp why anyone associates bisexuality with any form of greediness.

Is it the idea that because we are attracted to more than one gender we somehow want to go out with everyone (which isn’t true?)

In what way is my sexuality greedy?

If someone could explain this, it would be much appreciated.

“Bisexuals are just gays in denial.”

Nope, I’m not gay, I’M BISEXUAL.

I can tell you that I am absolutely, and without a doubt, NOT IN DENIAL about being gay. I’m bi and I’m proud of that.

“Bisexuality doesn’t exist.”

Take it from someone who knows, it definitely does.

People have a tendency to dismiss things they don’t understand. In spite of this, there are those who know the truth from personal experience and for me, bisexuality is one of those things which I KNOW exists and no-one can tell me otherwise.

If I’m in a relationship with a man “So, you’re gay now?”

Nope. Just as a heterosexual man in a relationship with a woman can still find other women attractive, I can still find other people, both men and women, attractive even if I am in a committed relationship.

I suddenly don’t stop being bi just because I am in a relationship.

If I’m in a relationship with a woman “So, you’re straight now?”

Same as above.

“Just make a decision: are you gay or are you straight?” “Bisexuality is half gay, half straight.”

I’m neither gay nor straight, I AM BISEXUAL.

The best way of looking at it, and the way I often describe it to people is the colour purple.

Although purple contains bits of red and blue, it is its own colour. It is not called “red-blue” “half-red, half-blue” or “not quite red or blue”.

And, as with the colour purple, bisexuality is a mixture of same-gender attraction (red) and other-gender attraction (blue) but stands on its own as its own entity.

Also, purple can be more blue or more red at times but is still called purple, and bisexuality has multiple levels depending on each person’s level of attraction to different genders – but it is still bisexuality.

“OK, you’re bi but which do you prefer: men or women?”

Although many bisexual people may express a preference for one gender over another, this is not the case for all bisexual people. I should point out that not every bisexual person has a preference, and that if they do, this in no way invalidates their bisexual identity or their attraction to other genders.

“You’re just saying you’re bi to get attention.”

NOBODY says they identify as bi to get attention.

Why would anyone say it to get attention when the attention it primarily gets is negative, including from elsewhere within the LGBT community?

“Girls just say they’re bi to attract men.” “Guys just say they’re bi to attract women.”

Erm, no they don’t.

If they do, someone’s sexuality or gender identity should never be used as a fetish/kink or to attract someone.

“So, you’re gay right?”

NO!

I AM BISEXUAL.

I have lost count of the amount of times I have heard people calling bisexual people gay. THEY ARE NOT.

I hope those have answered some of your questions about bisexuality, and gone some way to quashing some of the bad stereotypes which exist surrounding bisexual people.

Everything written here is based on my own thoughts, opinions, and experiences and if it is different for you or you feel I have said anything wrong, don’t be afraid to call me out on it in the comments or on my Twitter (@TrentBlogs).

I have three more LGBT posts coming up for you very soon, so keep an eye out for when they go live. Until then, keep positive, keep smiling, and above all, keep believing!