B.E.D.A 2018: Day Five

Hello again everybody and welcome back to BEDA 2018.

CRYING

Today I wanted to talk about crying.

As a child, I have memories of getting very emotional at things and getting upset to the point of breaking out into tears on a regular basis. I should point out that it wasn’t I who had a problem with this – I was quite alright that if I was upset I could cry and it would be okay. It was other people and society in general that seemed to have a problem with it. I was told so often by people that I would be seen as “soft” or that I was being “girly” in some way and that crying as a “man” was a sign of weakness. Even people who were close to me seemed to have this attitude (mostly males sadly) but I couldn’t understand it. How was I weak by getting upset? If something was worrying me or had got me that sad that I felt like crying, was this not okay? In what way was crying a “girly” thing to do – don’t all people cry at some point?

Even in my young mind, I was questioning the attitude people had and whether or not I was weak for being a cryer. Of course, I have now grown up, developed as a person, and educated myself considerably on society and its views. I have now realised that the attitude towards male cryers can be classed under the category of TOXIC MASCULINITY.

From a very young age, we are taught that boys/men who cry at things are

·         Over-emotional

·         In touch with their emotions

·         Soft

·         Girly

·         Weak

·         Wimpy

·         Feminine

The idea that men have to be strong and not show any form of perceived weakness is now and pretty much always has been pure rubbish to me. How dare people tell me what is and isn’t masculine? How dare they condemn me for showing emotion? How dare they question my masculinity or my ability to be a “man” simply because I get over-emotional quite easily?

I am a very emotional person, and I cry a lot at various things. It has been this way for as long as I can remember and is just a part of who I am now. The difference between when I was a child and now is that I have learned to embrace who I am. I have learned that it is 100% fine to cry if I want to or feel the need to. I have learned that I can be a man even if I do tear up from time to time, and that crying does not affect/alter my gender IN ANY WAY.

Here is what I am essentially saying that I want you to remember

IF YOU NEED TO CRY, DO IT. EVEN IF SOCIETY TELLS YOU IT MAKES YOU WEAK, IT DOESN’T – IT MAKES YOU STRONG. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO YOU ARE, CRYING IS OKAY.

Today’s quote is “Have Courage” and here’s why this is important to me.

Courage has many different forms and all of them can show just how strong a person you are

·         Getting out of bed on a day when you feel like you can’t – THAT’S COURAGE

·         Eating when your body tells you that you can’t face it – THAT’S COURAGE

·         Going out and facing the world when your anxiety is high – THAT’S COURAGE

·         Being yourself in a world that tells you to be someone else – THAT’S COURAGE

·         Crying when the world tells you it makes you weak – THAT’S COURAGE

·         Facing your troubles or the people who trouble you (bullies for example) – THAT’S COURAGE

And that is just scratching the surface of the million ways that you can be courageous in this world and it is all down to your individual character. Even the smallest gestures/acts/achievements can require huge amounts of courage – don’t forget that.

SONGS OF 2008

For the final part of today’s post, let’s carry on the Songs of 2008 countdown.

These two have just missed out on being in the top 50, but they’re awesome nonetheless.

Snow Patrol occupy number 52 on this chart with Take Back the City

And, only just outside of the top 50 is a song that grew on me over time. It is the first entry on this countdown for the incredible Katy Perry. Hot N Cold sits at number 51.

52	Snow Patrol Take Back the City https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY_hkrQNAQo
51	Katy Perry Hot N Cold https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTHNpusq654

And that’s it for part 5 of BEDA 2018. Thanks for reading. If you want to keep up to date with me or offer your thoughts on any of my posts, you can do so on my social media (TrentBlogs on all accounts) or you can leave a comment below.

Next post will be up tomorrow. Until then, keep positive, keep smiling, and above all, keep believing!